I am faced with the recent death of a particular person whom I do not care for.

I have been able to avoid this person for the majority of my adult life; now his death conjures up all sorts of ill-feeling and anger... things I have managed to ignore for many years.

He is a "family" member. I place the word family in quotations because he was my mother's brother; however my mother was adopted and we were never really part of this "family."

I could go on & on with very personal details about my life and this man and a seemingly unending barrage of horror stories & negative events. I could recount publicly the tragedies that I believe to be so many events in my young existence that should have had familial intervention (or at least interaction) where there was none. But I will not. It serves no purpose in a public forum, no matter the depth or breadth of this ill-will on my part.

I realize that I need to look at this differently. I need to see this as a motivation towards appreciation: appreciation for those who I do have in my life and the person I have become.

The person I have become will attend his visitation. The person I have become will respectfully see my other "family" members who have had nothing to do with me for a decade. The person I have become will coach my mother & brother in the car tomorrow on the way to the funeral home and remind them both, "If you can't say something nice..."