About ten minutes ago, a police officer knocked on my front door. The kind officer informed me that there had been a "noise complaint" about my home.

I invited the officer to step inside, but he declined. He said, "I don't hear any noise violation."

And there was none. I had been enjoying a quiet evening with BT and Noah. We shared a couple beers, a pizza & we had some music on... music, not HN or anything of an experimental nature... and our music was at a very reasonable level. Reasonable enough, it seems, that the police officer refused entry to my home and left just as quickly as he came.

I have been living in apartments/townhomes for nearly a decade. I know what a noise violation can sound like. I have knocked on the door of neighbors who were fighting and screaming at each other at 3 o'clock in the morning. I have knocked on the door of a neighbor who had her television so loud she couldn't even hear me knocking. But this is the point: I knocked on their doors and spoke to them face-to-face. And I don't even own a set of balls between my legs.

There was no need to phone the police, for crying out loud (no pun intended) and our dear officer tonight agreed.

If you want to talk noise, neighbors, I will share with you noise. Check it out: myspace.com/fatalenoise or myspace.com/isthisis

And next time, have the dignity to come tell me to my face that you are having a problem with something auditory coming from my home. I have a very nice doorbell that is just waiting for your finger to press in complaint.